teen advice

Welcome back everyone!

My dad told me when I was little that he hoped I would continue to pick up math quickly because then I could become an engineer and make lots of money when I grew up. Whenever he told me this, I would nod my head, but I had a feeling that wouldn’t really be what I wanted. I’m no math whiz, but I’ve always gotten good grades in math and I tend to enjoy the subject when I have a helpful teacher. I’m decent at math, but it’s not my favorite thing- same with science. People always say STEM fields and jobs are where the future and the money is- they’re not wrong, but it doesn’t mean that’s what I want to spend the rest of my life doing.

Most of the kids in my (honors/AP) classes want to be engineers, doctors, or something else in STEM. I don’t. I’ve always felt like I should, because most of the high-achieving, smart kids around me do. If I’m high-achieving and smart (or aspiring to be), shouldn’t I like these things that are usually labeled as the jobs/fields high-achieving, smart people like and want to do? I still ask myself this from time to time, but I’m not putting pressure on myself to do or like anything that I wouldn’t genuinely pick up on my own. Everyone has their own interests, and I know that’s not my path. Sometimes I question it, of course, but I just have that instinct that it’s not for me since I don’t particularly enjoy those topics.

It’s more important to do what you love anyways, regardless of prestige or money (to an extent). I’m more interested in the humanities, and English and history classes have always been my favorite. I also love my Spanish class, I loved AP Psychology and I love learning about law (my childhood dream was to be a lawyer). I’m interested in the quantitative side of some of these subjects, but not math or hard sciences themselves. My mom always says it’s more important to find what I’m passionate about and explore different things along the way since I still have time, whereas my dad will still push the whole STEM-being-the-most-secure-future thing.

People always try to make STEM fields seem superior and hate on the humanities, saying STEM majors/jobs are harder, but any job or major or interest can be more complex and difficult depending on how you’re diving into it. It’s different since it’s just high school, but at my school, English and history classes tend to have reputations as being the hardest. I don’t feel bad about wanting to go into something that might not be “the job of the future” because I want to find and do what I love.

The last thing I wanted to touch on is the call for women to go into STEM. My dad had me watch some news special or documentary type thing on how companies want more women in the field and there’s definitely a demand for it. However, there’s TONS of sexual harassment and gender inequality at a lot of the big tech companies for women who do go into those fields. I wouldn’t want to put myself through the atmosphere of these male-dominated companies, especially considering I’m also just not interested in those types of jobs.

I recently watched Good Trouble (an amazing show and the sequel to The Fosters) on Hulu, and one of the characters works at a tech-startup and is one of the only women who works there. The guys on her team don’t take her seriously and she finds out she’s also being paid a lot less. I know it might not be a completely realistic depiction of a woman in STEM’s life and there are a ton of amazing, powerful women who probably have better experiences in the industry, but I think it definitely draws attention to some of the unacceptable behavior towards women in those types of workplaces.

If you’ve been in a similar mindset as I have, or are questioning whether to pursue a certain job/major/etc. in STEM or something else based on what others are doing and the prestige/money involved, just take a second to evaluate your priorities. If you have the skills for it and prestige or money/a secure future is the most important thing in your life, that is completely respectable and you should act accordingly. However, if you know that something else is your calling that you truly love, you should consider that first.

I hope talking about this draws attention to the internal conflict and thoughts that I know a lot of other people besides me must have as well. I promise it’s worth it to follow your heart, and you’ll usually end up being most successful at the things you love to do and see yourself pursuing the most.

Brooke

Welcome back everyone!

I know we’re all still on break, but I figured before the new year and semester start, I would throw out some advice for you freshmen. Honestly, anyone in high school (or middle school!) could use this advice; I just figure that kids my age or older would already have learned similar lessons. If you’ve had a rough first semester or rough 2019, here’s some advice on how to use your past to enhance your future! Trust me, it’s not as hard or ~deep~ as it sounds.

Be able to recognize your flaws – Being aware of your mistakes is the first step to learning from them. Think about the past few months: what went well, and what could’ve gone better? Why did the things that went wrong occur? What part did you have in them? These are the questions you should reflect on when you’re thinking about what you can change in the future.
Take responsibility- don’t blame others – Others may have had a part in your mistakes or shortcomings, but you can only worry about yourself. Own up to anything you’ve done wrong, and leave anyone else to do the same for themselves.
Apologize when you’ve done wrong – This goes along with taking responsibility, but it’s so important to apologize to anyone you may have hurt or impacted negatively. It goes a long way in showing you understand how your actions affect others- mustering the courage up to do this shows a lot of maturity.
Accept others for who they are – A big mistake a lot of people make (I definitely have quite a few times) is trying to change their friends or complain about their flaws and then expecting them to change. Sometimes people do change, but you’re not the one who’s going to change them. If you’re going to surround yourself with people, make sure you know they’re people that will lift you up and make you happy to be around. If that’s not the case, find new friends- it’s up to you to make those choices.
Stay open-minded to change – Sometimes we look around at all the things we wish we could change about other people, but it’s completely out of our control. So what is in your control? Well, you! If you’re able to recognize your mistakes and flaws now, you should see the things that you wish you could change about yourself. It’s completely up to you to make an effort to change these things- nobody’s perfect, but you can try to be a better you.
Think about your good characteristics/strengths – What are the best things about you? Your favorite parts, and/or the characteristics other people compliment you? These are the traits you should try to bring out in yourself most often, and reflect in your everyday life. Again, nobody’s perfect, but it’s best to show off your best self.
Be as kind and friendly as possible – This isn’t really about learning from your mistakes, but it helps you put your best foot forward in new situations/when meeting new people and sets you up for better outcomes and relationships in the future. Also, people who may have known you in the past when you weren’t as proud of yourself can see that you’re making an effort to be a better you and change.
Understand that you’re going to make a lot more mistakes – Everyone does. As I’ve said multiple times, nobody’s perfect. This advice can help you prevent some silly mistakes, but everyone gets themselves in tough spots from time to time. Build your internal “toolkit” and problem-solving skills, and you’ll be just fine working yourself out of future issues.

I know some of this advice is pretty generic, but I think that’s kind of the point. We’re all getting older, and we have to actually apply the typical advice and wisdom adults have always given to us. I know I’ve matured a ton in the past couple years, and I’m still definitely not a perfect kid. That being said, let’s be our best selves in 2020 and make it an amazing year.

Brooke