Hello everyone!

Recently my grandmother moved in with my family, and it’s been chaotic to say the least. We live in a pretty small house, and it’s become even more crowded with the introduction of my grandmother and her miniature-Pinscher dog. I know a lot of other people live with their grandparents or just experience crowded family living situations, so I thought it would be helpful to offer my two cents on how to make these hectic conditions a bit smoother. I know it’s an adjustment as anything is, and I know I’m privileged to even have the living situation that I’m currently in, so don’t take this as me complaining 🙂

• Establish boundaries, and stick to them – This is a two-way street. There will probably need to be compromises on both ends, and that’s just how it is. I would hope that all parties involved at least understand common courtesy (not having the T.V. on loud at night, not having loud phone calls on speaker phone, etc.) but depending on the people and situation you may need to clarify these things. It’s best if everyone has some sort of defined space as their own, especially when it comes to storage. In the bathroom it can be a drawer, in a bedroom it can be a side of the room or a corner- it all depends.
• Figure out transportation – This also depends on the situation, because if everyone has their own car and can transport themselves, you don’t really have an issue. I’m not old enough to drive yet and I depend on my parents to take me everywhere, and my grandma isn’t really comfortable driving on crazy California freeways and roads- she also doesn’t have a car here at the moment. If my parents are taking my grandma to an appointment or to get her errands done, I’m stuck at home or stranded elsewhere. Luckily I’ll be able to drive soon, but right now we have to do a lot of planning in advance to make sure everyone’s getting where they need to go… which means spontaneous plans with friends are limited.
• Have time to get away – I’m busy with a lot of extracurriculars and my schoolwork, so I don’t even spend that much time at home. I also try to be social and spend time with my friends as much as I can, so that’s even more time out of my house. This makes it a little easier to deal with the craziness at home- I’m not actually home very often, besides sleeping and eating and working. It really helps if you have lots of time in your schedule where you’ll be elsewhere, away from the chaos.
• Find your “zen” space at home – No matter how cramped or crazy it is, there has to be some spot at home that you can go to for relaxation. It can be in your backyard, front yard, or even just somewhere else in your neighborhood if your actual house is too much for you. What matters is it’s a place of tranquility that you can easily access without having to depend on anyone else and where you won’t get disturbed. For me, I have a couple go-to places- the bathroom (I know, it’s weird), a corner of my room, and this one spot in my backyard outside if it’s warm out.
• Know that everyone probably feels the same way and you just need to communicate – If you’re getting overwhelmed and feeling tension, chances are you’re not the only one. These situations require everyone to cooperate with each other and be comfortable speaking up when something’s bugging them or they need to make a change. I know there’s not much you can do or control as a kid in this situation, but you can still (respectfully) advocate for yourself if you feel boundaries are being overstepped or you don’t have enough privacy.

I know these types of situations can be quite trying, especially depending on your relationship with your family members. Just try to look at it as a bonding experience and a life lesson- you’ll need to learn to live with other people (with very different lifestyles) in small quarters in college or in other roommate situations when you’re older anyways. I’ve been in so many strange living situations and stayed in so many dorm rooms that I think I’m definitely ready to be living in a dorm 😉

Brooke