Hello everyone!

If you read my post from yesterday, you would know that I recently suffered the loss of my grandfather. I wrote about it to commemorate his life, but also because I thought it might help anyone going through something similar. Grieving the loss of someone in your life, especially someone close to you, is a very difficult thing. I was extremely close with my grandmother, and when she died a couple years ago it was hard for me to deal with- it took months for me to adjust and feel normal again. It’s a sad and odd thing to say, but I think the “experience” that I gained from that is what’s making it a little easier to grieve and accept the recent loss of my grandpa.

I am not an expert in grief by any means, and if you are having a hard time I suggest you seek grief counseling or other professional help if you are able. That being said, I would like to share a few things that have helped me move through the stages of grief and move on in hopes that they may help you. We all deal with things differently, but these are a few general things that I think could help most people.

• Talk about it – I completely understand if you need time to process it before knowing what to say, but it’s important to let your feelings out rather than keeping them bottled up inside. Find someone you can trust who will listen and comfort you, and don’t feel bad about burdening them with it- if they care about you, they most likely want nothing more than for you to feel better. If you can’t find someone in your life you feel comfortable talking to, seek group therapy or counseling if possible.
• Write a letter to the person – If too many thoughts are going through your head, or you feel you didn’t get to say a proper goodbye to the person you lost, let all of your thoughts out in a letter. Tell them all the things you wish you could tell them in person, tell them all the things you love about them- whatever you want. You can keep the letter afterwards if you want, but I recommend throwing it away so there’s actually some sense of closure.
• Meditate/pray/do whatever correlates with your religion and/or spirituality – Depending on your religious and/or spiritual beliefs, this may differ, but I highly recommend having some sort of mindful practice in reaching out to God and/or the universe. It also helps since you’re probably very overwhelmed with emotions and thoughts, and I think these practices are comforting during any tough time in general.
• Attend the funeral/service if there is one, but on your terms – I highly recommend attending the funeral or whatever service you are having if you’re able to, even if it seems like a hard thing to do. You’ll be among family and friends going through the same thing, and that’s comforting in itself. Also, you can honor the life of your loved one and it will make you think of more positive memories with them, shifting to a better mindset.
• Look at the big picture – I know they’re common things that everyone will tell you, but look at the positives: they’re in a better place, they’re no longer suffering, they’re in heaven (depending on what you believe), etc. Say these things to yourself and really believe in them, because it will make you feel better.
• Find your community – This could be in group therapy or in your family and friends if they are experiencing the same feelings; whoever can relate to you, talk and listen, and will be there for you is a huge comfort. You are never alone in your sadness or grief.
• Go easy on yourself – Don’t expect yourself to move on and feel better right away. Give yourself time. Take things one step at a time, and don’t ask too much of yourself as far as going back to school/work and getting back into the business of your daily schedule. For each tiny step to moving on, give yourself a pat on the back. This isn’t easy no matter what the situation is, and you’re a survivor for getting through it.

I really hope this helps out any of you who have recently lost someone in your life and are in the process of grieving. Remember, you are never alone, and you will get through this eventually- these things take time. Also, be there for the adults in your life who are grieving as well. I know us as kids/teens often think they have it together and can deal with these types of matters better or easier than us, but they’re in the same boat. Above all, I am so sorry for any of your losses if you are in this situation, and I am here for you if you need anything.

Brooke