Author: Brooke

It’s An Honor – Poem by Me

BrookeLeave a comment 
strolling onto the stage while people clap
her scarlet dress clings to her body

and she fights a blush that would turn her
face almost as red as her lipstick

now at the podium, the shiny gold award
is in her hand. it doesn't seem that different

from a high school sports trophy (anymore).
she's at the podium, a microphone is shoved

in her face, and it's time for her speech.
you know, the impromptu one that the 

veteran celebrities prepare in advance, and 
the newbies don't think to-- she clears 

her throat, stares into the microphone 
rather than facing the crowd, and says

thank you, it's an honor. she doesn't use 
the impromptu speech she made up for fun

when she was a little kid performing
for her family- this has been my dream 

my entire life. instead, she lists off 
names of people, things, and places 

to thank. she smiles and hopes the cameras
aren't picking up the slight blush that 

managed to creep into her cheeks. she clutches
the award tightly, because it's an honor.

This was interesting to write since I normally write poetry that’s somewhat inspired by my life, and this definitely isn’t! I hope you enjoyed regardless. Please let me know if you have any feedback on this piece or writing challenges you’d like me to try in the near future. Stay safe and healthy.

Brooke

10 Things I’ve Been Looking Forward to Doing After AP Tests

BrookeLeave a comment

Welcome back everyone!

If you’re a high school student who took AP classes this year, you would definitely know that APs are officially over! I only took two tests, but considering that I basically had to reteach myself the material for one (AP Psychology) I was still stressed out, especially with the unique online format of the tests this year. Much of my time the past few weeks has been divided between my online schoolwork and then extra studying for my AP tests, so now that APs are over and the actual school year is winding down, I have plenty of free time to focus on relaxing and fun. Keep on reading to find out what I’m planning to fill this newfound time with!

  1. Reading! I had been on a reading roll during quarantine until it got closer to AP tests and I had to give up my leisure reading time for extra studying time everyday. I have a long list of books I’m planning to read once my library reopens, but I also have a few books at home I still hadn’t gotten around to reading. I also recently got a subscription to the Kenyon Review literary magazine, and I’ve been looking forward to reading the latest issue. In addition, I have three books as assigned reading before the Sewanee Young Writer’s Conference (online, of course!) in late June.
  2. Writing! Okay, this shouldn’t come as much of a surprise either if you’ve been reading my blog for a while. I had been steadily working on a novel this past month or so and writing 1,000+ words per day, but I also had to put that aside to study for APs the past few weeks. I’ve been looking forward to returning to working on it– hopefully my time away from the piece will have given me a fresh perspective and some newfound inspiration for the chapters to come.
  3. Netflix bingeing. I haven’t gotten around to watching Outer Banks yet, but everybody’s been talking about it so I really want to. I also want to watch season 4 of Riverdale since it’s now on Netflix. I know it’s a hot mess but that’s what makes it entertaining; I love to watch the commentary videos on YouTube making fun of it, so I have an idea of what’s gone on in the season. It’s a guilty pleasure of mine though– I devoured season 3 on train rides and plane rides during my summer trip last year, and the ridiculousness made it entertaining.
  4. Harry Potter movie marathon. I guess this could qualify as Netflix bingeing, but it’s not on Netflix. The Harry Potter movies are going to be on HBO’s new streaming service (which I believe you get for free as long as you pay for the HBO channel), and after rereading the books about a month ago, I’ve been dying to watch all of the movies. To be honest, I only really remember the first four and part of the fifth… well, I really only remember Professor Umbridge’s horrid pink outfits in the fifth and not much else. It’s been years since I watched any of them.
  5. Swimming. If you didn’t know, I live in southern California and it is starting to get hot. I am lucky enough to have a pool at my house– my family has been using it the past few weeks while I’ve stayed inside studying. I’m looking forward to enjoying the pool and hopefully getting a tan.
  6. FaceTiming friends just for fun. I’m still social distancing so FaceTime will have to do for now, but I definitely am looking forward to talking to friends about topics other than school and studying for tests. Make sure to stay in touch with your friends! I know these times can be super lonely, and it’s important to reach out.
  7. Organizing my room. Yes, I’m kind of a neat freak and I find reorganizing my stuff fun. Since I can now recycle a lot of my notes and unwanted assignments from this year, I can definitely reorganize my desk and a lot of my school stuff. I can also bring out all of my summer clothes and try everything on to see what still fits and what I should donate.
  8. (Hopefully) starting a Little Free Library in my neighborhood. This is something I’ve really wanted to do since quarantine started, but I never dove into the research. My neighborhood has a pretty strict homeowners’ association so I’ll probably have to get it approved, but I really hope I can do this by the end of summer. If you don’t know what a Little Free Library is, you should look it up and check out their website. It’s an awesome nonprofit and a really cute concept.
  9. Going on hikes. There’s a ton of gorgeous hikes in my area, but I rarely find myself making plans to go on them. There’s definitely been an increase in people making use of these trails since quarantine started, but I personally haven’t found the time to. Now that I’m not bogged down with school, I’d like to explore more of nature (locally, of course).
  10. Researching colleges. This is kind of a weird thing to be excited about, but I guess I get excited about things most people wouldn’t be. I’m going to be a junior this coming school year, so it’s finally time for me to get serious about researching colleges. I’ve been waiting for this since I was a little kid, so I’m looking forward to embarking on the quest of finding schools I think I would fit in at through extensive online research.

I hope this inspires you to celebrate the end of AP testing and the school year coming to a close. I wanted to address that from some of the comments in this post it may seem like I centered my life around school the past month or so in preparation for AP testing, and although that’s true to an extent, don’t worry; I still managed a somewhat balanced schedule. I just had to sacrifice a couple things since my family’s also been going through some stuff (not corona related) and I still needed my own personal time to spend with them right now. Stay safe and healthy.

Brooke

On the Shelf – Poem by Me

BrookeLeave a comment 
i stack my old books on the shelf
blowing the dust off the chipped wood

to make a clean, safe home for these
prized possessions that possess all the

knowledge in the world (my world)
combined. books that represent the

person i want to be, the world i want to
live in, and books that represent the 

person i am, the world that i've had to
accept. neatly organized by color, the 

sight of the shelf is one i admire. it's 
much too beautiful to share.

i step back from the stacks, turn away
from the shelves, and walk out of the 

room. i lock the door behind me to 
keep my precious books safe.

I hope you enjoyed this piece! Please let me know if you have any feedback on this poem or any writing challenges for me to try out in the future. 🙂 Stay safe and healthy.

Brooke

How Using Goodreads Changed My Reading Habits

Brooke2 Comments

Hello everyone!

If you’re an avid reader, you’ve most likely stumbled across the Goodreads website at some point in your life. I was no exception, but I didn’t use it myself; I would only peruse the website if I wanted to read reviews on a specific book or find a recommendation. However, about a month and a half ago, I made a Goodreads account and started actually keeping track of the books I was reading and rating them. I also have been steadily building a giant “want to read” list of books I’ll have to check out at my library once it’s back open. If you want to find out how it’s changed my reading habits, keep on reading.

I’m kind of an organization-freak when it comes to lists and keeping track of things I’ve done/want to do/need to do, so I’m not sure why I just came around to using Goodreads. I love the idea of being able to look back on everything I’ve read and remind myself whether I liked certain books or not, and being on the website in general motivates me to read more.

It has a feature where you can set your goal of how many books you want to read in 2020, and I found this to be motivating as well. I personally chose 20 books. I’ve already met that goal and read over that amount, so I’ll probably change that limit soon.

I’m more motivated to read because I know that I’ll get to check off that I finished a book on my Goodreads. This is probably a questionable mindset, but since I love reading and this motivates me to make time for it, I’m okay with that. 🙂 I’m just that type of person, so Goodreads has been helpful for me in that regard.

It’s also useful in case you’re looking for new books to read! They suggest book recommendations off of the categories you choose or the books you’ve read, and of course you can read the reviews to get a taste of whether you’d actually like them or not.

If you already have an ongoing list of books you’d like to read, it definitely makes it easier to keep track of them. I’ll get recommendations from friends or hear about different books in passing that I’d like to read, but I’ll easily forget about them if I don’t write them down somewhere. Even if I do manage to write them down, I rarely end up following through with reading the book and I usually end up losing the note to myself. Not anymore!

My “Want to Read” list is at least 70 books at the moment, so I definitely have a lot to go through. I’m proud to say that during quarantine I’ve reread almost every single book on my bookshelf and rated it on Goodreads for future reference. I can’t stress enough how helpful the five-star rating system and shelves are for an organized yet forgetful person like me.

Quarantine is also a huge part of this equation. I wouldn’t have had time to play with Goodreads or read so many books in the past couple months in general if it wasn’t for being stuck in my house. That’s one of the few upsides of this situation, and one that I plan on continuing taking advantage of.

This probably sounded like a weird ad for Goodreads- I know it’s been around forever and so it’s not exactly groundbreaking news, but using it is a new habit of mine and I wanted to share how it’s impacted my reading. I hope you still enjoyed it and are inspired to go check out the website if you’re like me and haven’t before. Stay safe and healthy.

Brooke

Should You Take An Online AP Class?

Brooke1 Comment

Hello everyone!

AP testing is almost over (to anyone who has an AP test tomorrow, best of luck!) for this year, and you probably have already selected your courses you’re taking next year. If your school doesn’t offer a lot of AP classes/a specific AP class you want to take, or your school limits when and how many AP classes you can take, you might be considering taking an AP course online through an accredited provider.

I did exactly this with AP Psychology since I didn’t have room for it in my schedule at school; I took a self-paced online course through BYU Independent Study during the summer, and then basically retaught myself everything before the AP test. This path might not work for everyone, so keep on reading if you want my advice on whether it will work for you.

Keep in mind that this is all based off of my personal experience and I am not a teacher or education expert! Make sure to talk to your parents and/or counselor to see if they think online AP classes are a good fit for you.

You SHOULD take an online AP class if:

  • You have the funds. Online AP classes are expensive unless you live in a state like Florida that has a program where you can take them for free (use FLVS!). I live in California and we don’t have a program like that, so I had to make sure my parents were okay paying for a class. BYU Independent Study was the most affordable choice for AP Psychology at least, but it’s overall expensive
  • You’re self-motivated and will get the work done. Don’t pile extra work on yourself if it’s just going to stress you out more and you’re going to procrastinate doing it. You’ll have to hold yourself accountable, and no matter how good the teacher of the online class is, you’ll still end up being your own teacher in a lot of ways.
  • You can get an A (or B) in the class to boost your GPA. These classes are super helpful for bumping up your GPA as long as you get a good grade. Make sure your school will accept the credits and put them on your high school transcript if that’s what your after- my school also has a limit on how many online classes you can take, so make sure to check that out too.
  • You’re genuinely interested in the class (or you need it to graduate). Unless you need to take the class or you really want to take the class, it probably will just be a burden and something you dread doing. I was genuinely interested in psychology and didn’t have room in my schedule sophomore year to take the class at my school, so it was worth it for me to take it (especially because of the GPA boost).

You SHOULD NOT take an online AP class if:

  • You want to take an ‘easier’ version of an AP class. Although some online AP classes can be easier than others or the in-class version, this still isn’t the best attitude to have. Most of the time, you’ll still need to put a decent amount of work in, so make sure you’re willing to.
  • You’re mainly taking it to pass the AP exam and get college credit, not because of interest in the class itself. It might be a waste of money to do this. If you’re motivated enough to take extra AP classes/tests, you’re probably motivated enough to self-study the material and take the test without paying for the class you don’t actually care about. I personally didn’t want to self-study since I actually wanted to take the class and I didn’t think I would be self-disciplined enough or have the resources to self-study, but lots of people do it successfully.
  • You have the opportunity to take the same class at school. Unless there’s a scheduling conflict or another reason you’re not able to take the class at school, I would highly recommend taking the classes in person if your school offers them. You’ll have a lot more support leading up to the AP test, and it will overall usually be a better, more complete learning experience.

Another aspect of online AP classes I would like to address is the timing of taking the class. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend taking an online AP class over summer like I did. Although it was useful to get the course done at my convenience in a short period of time, it was much more difficult for me to reteach myself the material and study for the AP test. Taking an online class during the school year might pile on even more to your normal school workload, but it also might be easier when AP tests come closer. This is something you’ll want to consider when deciding to take an online AP course; it’s important to choose the schedule that works best for you.

Lastly, if you’ve decided you for sure want to take an online AP course, here are some reputable providers:

  • FLVS (free for Florida residents like I mentioned, but available to anyone with a price)
  • Apex
  • BYU Independent Study
  • Virtual High School/VHS
  • Laurel Springs
  • UC Scout
  • Johns Hopkins CTY (I think you have to apply first? they’re also extremely pricey and rigorous but are very highly rated by those who take them!)

I hope this helped out anyone considering the pros and cons of online AP courses in deciding whether they would be a good choice for them. I personally plan on taking AP Art History this next year, as I need an art credit to graduate and I don’t have room in my schedule to take the class at school. We’re all in this together! Please let me know if you have any further questions. Stay safe and healthy.

Brooke

UV-Ray Vision – Poem by Me

BrookeLeave a comment 
some people wish for x-ray vision as a superpower
but i wish for uv-ray vision as mine.

to stare into the glowing orb of light we call the sun,
to look past the sunspots and stop our eyes from

watering when it's a sunny day and we look into 
the sky. to see what we can only partially see

to know more about our favorite star and be 
able to gaze into her eyes. to prevent her from

blinding us when we just want to get to know her.
to take in even more of her light, and become light ourselves

I hope you enjoyed this poem. I know it was a short one, but if you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you might notice I mainly write short poems. I’m working on a few longer ones to post in the near future 🙂 Please let me know if you have any feedback on this piece or any writing challenges you’d like me to try out in the near future. Stay safe and healthy.

Brooke

Procrastination – Prose

BrookeLeave a comment

Why does it never feel like there’s enough time to do anything when I have more than enough time? We’re all blessed with the gift of time- after all, we’re alive today.

I make a to-do list for each day, and I guess you could call me an optimist for thinking I can check off all of the items. Sometimes I do, but most times I don’t.

I spend too much time reading what I wish I could write, and too much time writing what I wish I could read. It’s difficult to figure out what the best use of my remaining time in the day would be, or if there even is a best use.

I reorganize drawers that are already fairly organized, considering I don’t plan on getting rid of the already limited contents inside. I fold endless loads of laundry; the laundry basket always seems to be full.

And then there’s the unwritten list of tasks I’m putting off.

Painting my walls because the sea foam green color that once seemed trendy now makes my stomach churn. Shaving my legs since I hate to do it, yet my mother’s nagging and society’s standards coerce me into thinking I need to. Doing an actual workout, more than just going on a walk, and one where I keep going and finish it all the way through. Writing the stories I think I’d be best at writing, the ones about myself, because I’m not sure I’m ready to make myself that vulnerable.

Sure, I procrastinate on normal things once in a while. The essay that I just don’t have an idea for. Studying for final exams that I don’t want to accept are coming. Cleaning my pretty much all-white bathroom that’s become varying shades of brown. It happens to me just like it happens to anyone. But for the most part, I’m pretty good at staying on task and getting these things done. I’m comfortable with my hamster-on-a-wheel lifestyle jumping from one task.

But what about the things I want to do? The things that would be good for me?

People don’t realize that you can procrastinate those.

I hope you enjoyed this piece! I know procrastination is something that everyone struggles with at some point, but I wanted to acknowledge the fact that it manifests in different ways in different people’s lives, just like any other habit. Please let me know if you have any feedback on this piece or any creative writing challenges for me to try out in the future! Stay safe and healthy.

Brooke

Daily Dose – Poem by Me

BrookeLeave a comment 
there's a shooting pain in the crook of my neck
but i refuse to take an aspirin today. i refuse to 

take an aspirin most days. it depends on my mood,
how independent or dependent i'm willing to feel

i tilt my head back slowly, until i'm looking up at 
my smooth white ceiling and i feel it- the pain.

i turn to the left to look at myself in my chipped
full-length mirror. if i turn more than that, i 

feel it. i can't stop feeling it and i can't resist 
turning. i don't want my vision to be restricted

to one field, not even right now. i don't want to 
always be chasing my own tail (figuratively, of 

course) and if the pain's going to stick around,
                                                        i want to feel it.

I hope you enjoyed this piece. It’s a little bit more dramatic, but I will admit I’ve been struggling with pain as described in the poem. I’m not exactly sure how to deal with it other than writing, but it’s not too bad; creative license was used 🙂 Please let me know if you have any feedback on this piece or any writing challenges for me to try out in the near future. Stay safe and healthy.

Brooke

Morning – Poem by Me

BrookeLeave a comment 
i don't know whether i dread or look forward to
the dizzy sensation of waking up and stumbling

out of bed. realizing it's another day, opening the
blinds, and letting the light stream in to my tiny 

bedroom. gaining my footing like a duck coming
back onto land, and getting ready for the day.

my head spins a little bit- jumping out of bed jump
starts my senses. my eyes can only see colored spots

for a moment, and i almost lose my balance while 
standing in front of the bathroom sink. 

the light becomes visible and my eyes zero in on the 
brightness; i can see my neighbors going for a walk

outside. the ground feels solid again, and i can go 
along with my day- it all took less than sixty seconds.

I hope you enjoyed this poem! It’s a little mundane, but I got the inspiration to write it when I was going through all of these morning routine motions this morning. There is something to be said about the odd, lightheaded feeling I get when I first wake up… hopefully that’s not just me! 🙂 Please let me know if you have any feedback on this piece or any writing challenges for me to try out in the near future. Stay safe and healthy.

Brooke

When The Ink Runs Out – Poem by Me

BrookeLeave a comment 
i drew the big dipper on my inner thigh
accidentally, of course; the pen jabbed 
into my flesh before i could stop the ink
from soaking into my skin and

it just happened to look like my old
favorite constellation. on my other
leg, you might notice a few random dots
and lines. guilty as charged, i don't

seem to have control over my pen.
and yet the ink ran out that day, thick
black letters becoming a meek shell
of what they used to be as the dry

tip of the rollerball dragged across
the page. i couldn't help thinking
these marks on my thighs were a 
waste of this precious commodity

but i didn't care. when the ink runs out,
you know where to find me.

I hope you enjoyed this poem! I actually do have a line that looks somewhat like the Big Dipper on my inner thigh right now. I’m weird and often do my work at my desk with one leg raised up (not very ladylike, I know), and sometimes when I’m writing really fast or get distracted, I end up making marks on myself. I’m just clumsy like that- there’s no other way to explain it. 🙂 Please let me know if you have any feedback on this piece or if you have any writing challenges you’d like me to try out in the future. Stay safe and healthy.

Brooke