Month: May 2020

My Mother’s Garden – Prose

BrookeLeave a comment

I’m sitting in a yard that is unfamiliar, yet it’s been my occasional sanctuary for a few years. The breeze ruffles the petals of the various flowers and plants around me. My mother has so many plants that you can’t even see the layers of dirt and fertilizer in the planter anymore.

My hair, becoming a lighter shade of golden under the sun, flows around my shoulders. Some pieces occasionally float in front of my eyes, obstructing my view of the yard, but it doesn’t trouble me. I don’t think I’ll miss anything.

I get nervous when the bees come to harvest pollen from the large bush of lavender beside me. Sometimes one will buzz too close to my ear, and I’ll abandon my normally secure spot on the lounge chair nearest to the flowers. I never understood why the bees only come to that lavender bush, when it’s probably the plainest, dullest colored plant in this yard.

The orange poppies with yellow rims have opened up, a few pink poppies beginning to open themselves right next to them. Succulents of all types inhabit colorful pots my mom has collected from a variety of places; a few have grown so much they needed to be replanted into the dirt in the actual planter alongside all the “normal” plants.

I turn to look behind me and notice the light pink rosebush in the corner, nestling against the ivy that covers our fence. I could’ve sworn the roses were white last year.

There’s flowers among flowers among flowers among other plants I can’t name- rich with pinks, greens, reds, oranges, blues, and purple that is much more vibrant than that of the lavender bush.

Sometimes I forget how beautiful this garden has become. It’s so easy to think of the barren patches of dirt, or weeds that resided here years ago. Or the fact that as I try to admire the plants, there’s at least one neighbor currently mowing their lawn, or a plane flying overhead.

There are no real sanctuaries from everyday life, but if there were, my mother’s garden would be one of them.

I hope you enjoyed this little piece! It was kind of fun to just look around my yard and pick out the parts I wanted to write about. I do love admiring the various flowers and plants- my mom’s become quite the gardener in the past couple years. Please let me know if you have any feedback on this piece, or any writing challenges for me to try out in the future!

Brooke

A Letter to the Class of 2020

BrookeLeave a comment

Dear Seniors,

I am so sorry for the loss of your senior year second semester, graduation, and all the activities and celebrations that were supposed to commemorate your hard work leading up to this point. I understand this is a time of mourning and yet a time of excitement at the same time; the unfortunate situation does not strip away these accomplishments and the fact that you have committed to colleges, or that you are, in fact, still graduating.

I cannot imagine what it would be like to be in your position. This COVID-19 crisis has affected the whole world in different ways, but the class of 2020 is all experiencing similar emotions in terms of grieving the loss of finishing the rat race that is high school in its traditional form. As a current sophomore, I’ve looked up to you guys the past year. Observing the seniors and eagerly awaiting the time when you’ll get to be in their shoes is commonplace for underclassmen, but this year is clearly different.

This experience may be defining of this year, but it does not define your high school experience. I’ve seen articles about people trying to organize “redemption proms” at their respective colleges they will be attending, and I hope you are able to achieve this chance at “redemption” in some capacity. Regardless of the eventual outcome, whether your graduation is online, postponed, or cancelled altogether, just know that you are still on the path to bigger and better things in life.

I realize this may sound annoying coming from a sophomore and I know I don’t understand exactly what you’re going through because I’m not in your place, but I want any seniors out there to know that we are here for you. You might be about to enter the next stage of life, but as someone in high school looking forward to being a senior, I do have some idea of what you’ve lost.

Best of luck in all your future endeavors! There will hopefully be opportunities to make your own celebrations and try to make the best of this situation, no matter how difficult it is. Congratulations- regardless of the situation, you still made it.

Brooke

After Dark – Poem by Me

BrookeLeave a comment 
i can't remember the last time i was out after dark
the oranges, pinks, purples, and reds of the sunset

mark the ending of my day. i close the blinds, 
get ready for bed, and wait until the sun returns

but i'm tired of playing by the sun's rules, everyone's
rules. maybe i want to be a walking cliché

dancing in the moonlight, taking walks in the dark
while the summer heat and humidity lingers

surrounding my body like invisible sparks in the night
invincible strolling down the streets

the night lasting forever because 
i don't want to go back home

I hope you enjoyed this poem. It’s not my favorite, but I couldn’t put my finger on anything specific I wanted to change. It’s definitely a very accurate portrayal of my thought process regarding summer and staying out late- as much as I want to have the stereotypical teen adventures, I’m a grandma and usually don’t go out past ten 🙂 Let me know if you have any feedback on this piece or writing challenges for me to try out in the future!

Brooke

(Another) Summer Writing Program Update

BrookeLeave a comment

Hello everyone!

Today I have an exciting post to share with you all. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you might remember that I applied to a few summer writing programs this year. I applied to the Sewanee Young Writers’ Conference, the Kenyon Review Young Writers Workshop, The Adroit Journal’s Summer Mentorship Program, and the CSPA Cal Poly journalism program. If you’re interested in hearing my final results and how these programs are being impacted by COVID-19, keep on reading!

I want to get out the good news first. I am so happy and excited to say that I was accepted off of the waitlist to the Sewanee Young Writers’ Conference! I will be attending, and I got accepted into my first choice genre (poetry). The program has been moved online, so we will be having Zoom classes with breaks between classes to work on reading and writing assignments, as well as evening assignments. There are a couple works we’re supposed to read before the conference starts, and I believe they’ll be holding extra Zoom conferences before the program officially starts so we can get to know people and the amazing staff members. I am so, so grateful to get this opportunity to work on my writing.

I also got accepted into the CSPA journalism program held at Cal Poly. They were unsure of their plans regarding cancelling the conference or moving it online; at the time of acceptance, they were being optimistic and saying at the moment the plan was still to hold the conference in person as normal. They gave us the option to wait until May to send in our deposit, or to defer our acceptance to next year. I chose to defer my acceptance as I was still waiting to hear back about the Sewanee waitlist and the Adroit mentorship at that point, and it’s nice to know I already have a possible summer plan for next year!

The Kenyon Review Young Writers’ Workshop was completely canceled, and they did so before ever announcing decisions. I guess I’ll never know whether I would’ve gotten in or not, which is okay but kind of disappointing. I might end up applying again next year, as it’s such an amazing program and I would’ve loved to go. They offered a discount code on a subscription to the Kenyon Review literary magazine though, so I was happy to take advantage of that.

I got rejected from The Adroit Journal’s Summer Mentorship Program, but that was not exactly a surprise. Their program will continue to go on as normal since it’s always been completely remote/online and flexible, which was one of the things that drew me to it. They had a huge spike in applications this year- around 650 last year to over 1000 this year, and I believe the acceptance rate was around 5% or less as a result. I would be lying if I didn’t say I was disappointed to get rejected, but I knew that this would be the biggest stretch to try and get into. I’ll most likely try again next year for this one as well! I’ll definitely be looking out for the work that emerges from the no-doubt extremely talented writers who did make it into the program!

That pretty much sums up my experience with summer programs this year. As a sophomore, this was my first year trying to apply to programs like this, and I’m grateful I did. I cannot wait for Sewanee, and I will most definitely be blogging about the experience. If you applied to any summer programs, I hope you got in and are still able to participate somehow even with COVID-19 going on; I assume it’s pretty half-and-half between programs cancelling and programs moving to online instruction.

Let me know if you have any questions about these programs or anything else in the summer program/writing summer program realm! It’s not a guarantee that I’ll know the answer since I’m not an expert, but I’ll try my best to help. Stay safe and healthy!

Brooke

How I Write My Blog Posts

BrookeLeave a comment

Welcome back everyone!

Today I’m going to be sharing my blog post writing process, from start to finish. In case you’re new to my blog, here’s a little bit of background: I pre-write and schedule all of my posts a week in advance on weekends, so I write seven blog posts each weekend. Usually about half of those seven will be sharing my poems/writing, and the other half will be related to school or some other topic. If you’re interested in learning what goes into each of my posts, keep on reading!

First, I start with what type of post I want to write. Usually for this, I simply make this distinction: is it going to be a writing post, or not? I usually have a supply of poems I want to share on this blog, so if it is a writing post, I can easily choose one. If not, I have to do a bit more brainstorming before I start writing.

I actually usually title my posts before I start writing them, but I sometimes change the title before I’m done if my writing takes a turn and I think a different title would better reflect the post. After I title it, I choose the time I want it to be posted, I select the category I want it to be posted under, and I write three tags for it (usually one is always “wordpress”). I find an image that reflects the content of the post on unsplash.com since they offer free high-quality images, and then I get to writing the actual post.

My posts tend to be on the shorter side unless it’s a rant/opinion type post, so it takes between 15-45 minutes for me to write it from start to finish. I’ll have a little introduction paragraph, the bulk of the post, and then I’ll have a really short conclusion where I let readers know that I’m always open to suggestions and answering questions. I also always sign my name at the end (not even sure why- I don’t really think it’s necessary, but it’s a habit).

After I’ve written out the full post, I’ll read it over myself and edit anything I think needs to be changed or fixed. If it’s a poem, I’ll make sure the formatting is in “verse” rather than paragraph so the line breaks are where I want them to be. Another thing I do differently when posting poetry is I write an excerpt, since I don’t do an introduction paragraph for those posts; I go straight into the poem when you open up the post.

It’s a pretty simple process, but here it is in steps:

  1. Decide what type of post I want to write (writing/education/organization/review, etc.)
  2. Brainstorm post idea.
  3. Title post.
  4. Adjust all the settings- choose the pre-scheduled time to post, select the category I want the post to be under on my blog, add 3 tags.
  5. Find a picture to go with the post on unsplash.com that will be the featured post image.
  6. Write the actual post. Introduction paragraph, content, conclusion, sign-off.
  7. Read the post over and make any necessary changes.
  8. Press “schedule”!

Hopefully this shed some light on the blogging process if you’re a new blogger and wondering how other bloggers get their posts up, or if you’re just curious on what goes into each post. Let me know if you have any questions, as I’m happy to answer them in the comments.

Brooke

Shadow in the Mirror – Poem by Me

BrookeLeave a comment 
i have a thousand different faces
that have been reflected 

in this prism of light and dark
not one of them has stuck around

my stomach sticks out and lies flat
my face fattens and thins out
my legs lengthen and shorten
my hair grows and disappears

i am a thousand different people
but i have not seen myself

i am a shadow, wondering which
of my disguises will be reflected

the next time i look into the 
wretched panel of glass

This was a really short piece, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. Body image is something everyone struggles with at one point, and I’ve found a lot of comfort in reading pieces about it. Let me know if you have any feedback on this piece, or any writing challenges for me to try out in the future!

Brooke

Personal – Poem by Me

BrookeLeave a comment 
how personal is too personal for us?
i pour my heart, soul, and the entire
fiber of my being into you
and i'm not sure if i should regret it

you can't trust anyone but yourself
an old mantra of mine
the only person you can count on is yourself
another old mantra of mine

when i met you, these mantras were
forgotten

am i wrong to trust you?
am i wrong to count on you?

the answers are personal, and
yet to be determined

As always, I hope you enjoyed this piece. The idea of certain things and topics being “personal” was something I wanted to make one of my “deep questions” opinion-type posts, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet. And what’s more personal than sharing my poem about getting personal with someone new? 🙂 Please let me know if you have any feedback on this piece or writing challenges for me to try out in the future.

Brooke

Working On My Novel – Q&A

BrookeLeave a comment

Hello everyone!

If you read my post not too long ago about my latest writing projects, you might remember that I’ve started working on writing a novel during this quarantine. I thought this would make an interesting topic for a post and I could answer some questions that my friends and other people have been asking me about the process so far and what I’m planning to do with it in the future. If you’re interested in learning more about the book I’m working on, keep on reading!

Q: Why did you start writing this novel/what made you take on such a large project?

A: Honestly, a few reasons came together to convince me that this was the time to sit down and give my best attempt at writing a book. I’ve had a few book ideas, but the one that I ended up using had been sticking out to me for a while. I’d written the prologue and brainstormed some of the plot and characters, and I was waiting a time for when I’d actually sit down and write it. Additionally, quarantine’s given me a lot more free time to work on writing and projects like this, so I actually had the time to dive into it and get myself started. I’ve only been working on it for a couple weeks now, but I know that I wouldn’t have gotten this far if it wasn’t for quarantine. The thing that really sparked me sitting down and writing the first few pages was getting an email from NaNoWriMo that because of quarantine, they were making April another novel-writing month challenge. I started towards the end of April and definitely didn’t finish, but I still took that as a sign of sorts.

Q: What is your book about, and how did you get the idea?

A: Honestly, my book is about a lot of things. The main character, Lauren, is trying to find herself. At the beginning of the book, she doesn’t even know that she’s trying to find herself, but she is. In that way, it’s a very typical coming-of-age type book about teenagers growing up, but there’s a lot more than that going on in the plot. Lauren has been selected by the government to live on this island with 499 other people in her age range for a year, and it’s very mysterious as to what the actual purpose of this little social experiment is. I know it sounds kind of sci-fi, but it’s really not. I got the idea because as a high schooler who will be going off to college in a few years, I’m surrounded by people trying to figure out their lives and who they want to be. Some people determine this by just figuring it out in college, some people go into the workforce, some people take gap years- I wanted to explore this idea but with something else going on in the mix. I’m also a big fan of typical YA dystopias, so the island isolation thing was something I’d wanted to play with.

Q: How far are you in the writing process?

A: Not far at all. At the time of writing this post, I’m at about 20,000 words. I got the ball rolling with around 7,000 words in a weekend, but my daily word count goal is only 1,000, and I’ve been doing that pretty consistently for the last couple of weeks. I’ve gone back and edited a few things like mini plot holes, but other than that I haven’t even started editing what I’ve written so far.

Q: What do you plan to do when you finish it? Are you just going to keep it to yourself?

A: I haven’t decided yet. It’s always been a goal of mine to publish a book, but I wouldn’t want to put something out there that I’m not really proud of. I know it would be very difficult to go down the traditional publishing route and that’s a whole other world I don’t know a lot about- I’ll probably do some research to see how feasible it would be. If I finish the project and edit it to the point where I think it needs to be seen by the world, I would probably end up self-publishing it, since that’s a more realistic goal.

Q: What is your main character like?

A: I’ve based my main character largely off of myself, kind of accidentally. Lauren is an over-thinker who’s trying so hard not to be. She’s a fiercely loyal friend who will protect the people she loves at all costs, but she has trouble standing up for herself and putting herself out there. One of the main reasons she agreed to come to the island was to get out of her comfort zone, and she struggles with actually doing this once she’s there. I think that choice proves she’s more daring than she/other people think, but it takes a bit of pressure for her to demonstrate her true potential in a lot of ways.

I could go on with more, but I don’t want to give too much away, and like I said, I am still pretty early on in the writing process. This has been such an exciting project for me to work on, and I hope to write more posts about it and share more about the book in the future! Let me know if you have any specific questions, as I would be happy to answer them in the comments. 🙂

Brooke

War on Bugs – Poem by Me

BrookeLeave a comment 
my room became a little habitat
first the little spiders scuttling
from wall to wall, using my comforter 
as a launch pad

then the speedy silverfish my
brother tried to kill with his shoe;
he missed and it scuttled behind 
the dresser, not to be seen again

an unidentified bug paid his 
respects the next day, but
my mom successfully stamped
out his existence

bugs, i plead, please don't come 
and visit this room, my habitat
you have the great outdoors
and i have this room

I hope you enjoyed this poem! I actually have found a lot of bugs in my room lately, which is pretty disturbing for me (I am extremely afraid of bugs/spiders), but it makes sense since the California sun is finally shining, and it is hot! Please let me know if you have any feedback on this piece you’d like to share, or writing challenges for me to use in the future 🙂

Brooke

School Is Taking Over My Mind

BrookeLeave a comment

Welcome back everyone!

Right now, my mind is consumed with everything school related. If you saw my last post about my study plans for AP tests, you’d already know how stressed I am about AP testing coming up. Beyond the couple weeks of studying still ahead of me, school is consuming a large portion of my thoughts in general. This might seem odd considering we’re all in quarantine, school is online, and it’s almost the end of the academic year, but those are precisely the reasons why my mind is scattered in a million places, most of them somewhat related to school.

Since the end of the school year is nearing, that means I will officially be done with sophomore year and be going into junior year. My joking aspirations about college and talking about plans for the future with my parents and counselor a few times a year will turn into actually touring schools I’m interested in, building a college list, and determining where I actually want to apply come senior year. All the “you have time”s and “you don’t have to think about this yet”s turn into “you should be getting started” and “you should be thinking about this.” I’ll have to start studying for the ACT/SAT (and decide which one I want to take, or if I want to try both) and do all that standardized testing junk. I’ll be taking my hardest course load in school so far, and continuing with my activities.

I’ve always been someone that’s looked forward to going to college and leaving home, but it’s still scary to have to start this process and make big decisions. Not to mention in order to hopefully get into whatever schools I apply to, I have to continue working hard and keeping up everything inside and outside of school that I’m already doing. There’s so many things that go into this process at the end of high school, and it’s crazy to think I’ll be getting started in mere months. I don’t know what colleges I’ll be able to visit and which ones I’ll like, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to discern if I genuinely like a school or not. As you can tell by the nature of these worries, I am an over-thinker and someone who plans ahead, so I have done some preliminary research and list-making, but it’s still based off of very limited knowledge in the grand scheme of things.

Another reason school is occupying so much space in my mind is because I miss it. I miss my teachers, and I had such wonderful teachers this year that I’m disappointed I wasn’t able to actually finish out the year with them and I won’t really get to say an in-person thank you and goodbye. I miss clubs and the business of a school week, and I miss being productive in that school hustle way. It’s weird to think how much time will pass before I’ll return to school, and daunting since when I do, it will be junior year and things will be so different/crazy in that way.

Since it’s nearing the end of the year, that also means finals are coming up! Honestly, my teachers haven’t said anything about finals, so I’m assuming we’re not actually having them. My school district switched our grading system so that our work is graded but our grades can only go up, and can’t drop from what they were pre-quarantine and online school. My grades were in a really good place before all this happened, so that was a pleasant surprise for me- I don’t have to stress about maintaining grades and studying for finals. That being said, things still always tend to get busy before the end of the year, especially with AP testing, so I’m still anticipating a bunch of work coming my way.

And, as I mentioned at the beginning, AP testing is stressful. With the new format of the tests and the fact that it’s up to me to study at home by myself, reviewing a year’s worth of material became so much more daunting. I put off studying for a little bit because of how uncertain everything was with testing, but in the past couple weeks I sprung into study mode, and I’m really hoping it pays off. Big tests always stress me out, and it’s consuming my mind right now since I’m at home and technically can be studying all the time; this makes me feel like I should be studying all the time to put myself in the best position possible before test day. I definitely want to be in the best position and headspace possible on test day, but I also don’t want to stress myself out too much.

Preparing for AP testing is also making me more conscious of all the testing I’ll be doing next year. Last year I took one AP test, and at the beginning of this year I took the PSAT, but other than that and my two APs coming up right now, I haven’t had to deal with standardized testing much. Next year, I will have five APs, taking the PSAT again, taking the SAT/ACT, and possibly taking SAT II Subject Tests at the end of the year if I end up planning to take those at that time. I guess so far I’ve done decently well in my standardized testing endeavors, but they do tend to stress me out and consume my mind while they’re looming- I have to get that stress under control before next year since I’ll have way more tests, and I don’t want my brain to constantly be focused on that.

With finishing up my sophomore year and realizing that I’m halfway done with high school, there’s a lot of reasons for school to be on the brain. Especially with being home in quarantine, I’ve had plenty of time to marinate my thoughts on these topics. That being said, I’m trying my best to reduce stress and stick it out, since summer is just around the corner and will hopefully be a lot more stress-free! Good luck to you all on finishing up your school year and taking AP tests 🙂

Brooke