Hello everyone!
I’m only a sophomore in high school, yet I’ve spent many hours sifting through threads on Reddit and College Confidential. I started out with a purpose: to educate myself. I don’t have any older siblings to help me out with decisions like choosing the right classes, finding cool extracurricular opportunities, or anything related to high school and college admissions. These websites really opened my eyes to a world I had never been exposed to…but did I need to be exposed to it?
I’m thankful for the things I have been able to learn from these websites and articles, don’t get me wrong. There’s a lot of valuable advice and resources out there that have the potential to really help people who don’t have anyone else to ask. I’ve always dreamed of going to Columbia University- I’m not 100% sure if I will actually be interested in going there as I’ve never visited, but you get the point- I’m interested in high-caliber schools.
I never put too much thought into it; I knew it was near-impossible to get in, but I figured you just had to give it your best shot. I didn’t realize there could be so much strategy and planning- I thought you just worked hard in high school and kind of did whatever, then would apply and see if it ultimately worked out for you. These websites definitely proved that theory of mine wrong. I could see all these incredibly intelligent and talented people talking about the dozens of AP classes they were taking starting from freshman year, their world-class extracurriculars and awards, and their extremely high test scores.
On one hand, I was happy I had found these sites to show me I would have to step it up if I still wanted to go to an elite college, but on the other, I was completely overwhelmed. I felt so inferior with my one AP class (all of my other classes were honors if it was available) and my main extracurricular being my school’s freshman cheer team. How would I ever compete with people like this in the future? I started freaking out, looking for more ways to get involved, and yet I obviously still wasn’t up to par with any of these people.
Now, I had a new “problem”: I was just doing a bunch of random activities that didn’t relate to each other, and I didn’t have leadership roles in any. Just to set the record straight, I wasn’t joining activities just for the sake of my college freak-out- I was doing things I genuinely liked and wanted to do, I just started seeking them out because of the college freakout. Anyways, I’m still kind of struggling with this. I really don’t know what I love, I don’t have a “passion” or special talent I can just follow through with and prove my excellence in. I honestly don’t know what the heck I’m doing.
Then it came to comparing myself to my peers at school. Some people in my school are way more ahead because of taking classes over summer school that I either never thought to do or physically couldn’t do because of scheduling, and have way stronger extracurriculars because they either just have more of a sense of direction or because they got involved in a lot of things starting right in freshman year.
I’ve always done well in my classes and have taken all honors/AP when possible, but I’m still not as ahead as some people. Lots of people took a year of foreign language over summer to get ahead, some people are more ahead in math because they took geometry in middle school or over the summer (I skipped one year in middle school so I’m ahead, but not as ahead as these people who are now 2-3 years ahead), and some people are already in AP science courses because they took honors chemistry over summer, which I’m taking right now in my sophomore year since I was unable to over summer. Because of this, it seems like I have a way less impressive schedule (less APs, therefore a lower possible weighted GPA) and like I’m way less impressive in general compared to these classmates.
I was mad at myself for not being able to get ahead in those classes, I was mad at myself for not diving into activities I was interested in at the beginning of freshman year, and overall, I was mad at myself for not figuring out all of this sooner. I spent my weekends researching ways to find impressive extracurriculars and stand out, and I signed up to take AP Psychology online over summer since that was something I could fit into my summer schedule and I was interested in the subject. However, this didn’t change how I felt. The damage had been done- I was now in a mode of comparing myself to everyone around me and their best achievements.
I’m not going to lie- I still do this. I’ll spend some time scrolling through Reddit or CC once in a while, and I’m usually tempted to click on a “Stats that Got Me Into ____” video on YouTube. Honestly, I feel like I’ve already seen it all at this point; there’s no more damage that can be done, and if anything there’s just more for me to learn. I’m really working to stop comparing myself to these people- I have my own strengths, and focusing too much on the college process as a sophomore will only stress me out and hurt me.
I’m the type of person who fixates on things, so this sudden obsession with college admissions and needing to be a competitive candidate in the future definitely has stuck with me. Sometimes I wish I had never thought to look at those websites and try to keep up with everyone else, but it’s already happened and now I can only be thankful for the knowledge I’ve gained. I’m motivated to keep working hard throughout high school, and hopefully I will get to attend one of my dream schools. Also, I hate being that person who focuses on wanting to attend a prestigious school because I know prestige and rankings aren’t everything, but I’ve always loved learning and dreamed of going to a school with like-minded people who are driven to succeed.
If you’re an underclassman like me, PLEASE don’t go searching for college information and spend all your time on College Confidential and Reddit. It will make you crazy like it did to me. I know it’s hypocritical since I still spend time on those sites, but it’s because they do have some uses- use them sparingly and with specific questions in mind, if at all. I promise you will end up doing fine without them; just work hard, make the most of the opportunities available to you, and do things that you enjoy doing just for the sake of it.
-Brooke
adventures of a typical high school student 