Hello everyone!
I had the idea to write about getting along with/tolerating family members since currently, my grandparents on my dad’s side of the family are visiting us and staying in our house. My family’s not the most dysfunctional family out there by any means, but we definitely have our fair share of crazy on both sides of it (not to mention tons of drama!). I would share some examples, but a lot of it is a little too personal… and embarrassing.
A kind of disclaimer before we start: I can be extremely timid and socially awkward at times (I’m more of an introvert) so my crazy and loud family can be overwhelming when all together. It’s not their fault, but I often get drained from spending long periods of time with them due to being more of a quiet and reserved person. Regardless, here is a bit of my experience and tips for when you’re spending a lot of time with your relatives and trying to enjoy it/not go insane!
- Be on your best behavior when you’re actually around everyone. Even if your family’s getting on your nerves, you don’t want to make a fuss or act out. I don’t know about you guys, but if I express negative feelings towards being at a family outing or do anything of that nature, my parents freak out on me and I get a long lecture on being rude. I definitely understand why and I hate for myself to come off that way anyways, so just be polite no matter how much energy it takes. They’re still your family, after all!
- Come up with ideas/activities/games for family outings that everyone can agree to but will also be fun for you. This can mean anything, from suggesting watching a movie or TV show you like, playing your favorite game, going somewhere you enjoy, etc. That way, there is something for you to personally look forward to when spending time with everyone, and they can enjoy it too.
- Stick near any cousins, siblings, etc. that are not as crazy and/or you have the most fun with. If you don’t have cousins or siblings (in this situation, I guess they could be considered allies) you’re close to, try and fix that! Finding at least one other person in the room who you can laugh with about how chaotic everything is will make it so much more fun, and time will pass faster. In most situations, spending time with the kids will be more fun than spending time with the adults.
- If you really need an escape, go to your room if you’re at home, and the bathroom if you’re not. Especially if there’s a lot of people around, no one will notice if you slip away for a little while. When I’m super overwhelmed, I often do this- and hey, no one can get mad at you for using the bathroom! Text a friend, listen to your favorite song, whatever calms you down and grounds you.
- Ask questions about others so they don’t have the chance to ask you about yourself as much. Make small talk and engage with others! My family members always appreciate it when I ask them questions about their lives and they are happy to answer them. It directs the conversation away from them interrogating me about school and my plans for college/the future. It helps if you already are genuinely curious about something and have plenty of questions to ask- some topic ideas are asking about adults’ jobs, their favorite TV shows, etc.
- Offer to watch over and play with the younger kids or babies if there are any. As I mentioned before, a lot of times it’s better to stick near all the other kids. This is even more true when it comes to the younger ones! Adults always appreciate people looking after their kids, and it will probably be a lot more fun for you. It will make you seem both responsible and caring, plus you can just spend time with some cute children.
- If it’s a longer visit/extended stay, block out time where you “have” to go somewhere or do something. Don’t make up a prior engagement or lie, but chances are you have some form of other stuff to get done. Make sure your family members know of your other engagements, and as long as you’re not missing out on anything major, take that time and go do whatever you need to do. Block out some breaks that can be you-time, but make sure they have a purpose.
- If you need to stay busy, ask your parents/whoever’s hosting how you can help with food or anything else. Similar to the babysitting little kids tip, this is a good way to keep yourself away from the chaos. Your efforts will again be much appreciated, and usually there will be something for you to do.
- In the event that all of the above fails and things get out of hand, hide and go on your phone. This is kind of a joke, but seriously. If anything is really pushing your limits, find a quiet space and just hope not to be disturbed.
I hope these tips helped you guys if you’re planning on visiting your family soon or they are coming to visit you! I know they may not work for everyone since each family is different, but most of them are pretty versatile. I don’t want to come off as rude or dramatic with this post, but I know that family affairs can be taxing (my current experience is enforcing this idea), so I just wanted to offer my advice. That being said, definitely enjoy the time you have with your relatives. Tell them how much you love them and cherish their presence. If things ever get too much, that’s when you can return to this guide!
I’ll talk to you guys soon- I have lots more ideas for new content and updates on a few things I’ve already working on. I’m hoping to get this site a bit more organized and up-to-speed in general as well, so look out for that!
-Brooke
adventures of a typical high school student 